Our Favorite Things

Just Lookin' For A Good Time

2012-02-14T06:40:00.000-07:00

So, the night has finally come. I am going to Lady A tonight! I am super excited. While others will be sharing what they did for Valentines Day, I will be sharing about what a great concert it was.

It isn't that I don't like Valentines Day or that Vince is just gone for Valentines Day. I just hate how it is such a commercialized day. Why do we have to have a special holiday set aside to tell our loved ones how much they mean to us? This should happen every day, right?

I have my theories about how the industry is doing this to make more money, or how women think this is such a wonderful day because it is one more day to get gifts but when it boils down to it, I just think this is a stupid day. It is a day where it is so built up about what will he get me and what should I get him that we lose sight about what our love should be about.

I do love Vince, very much and I know he loves me. Whether he bought me flowers, jewelry, or just puts his arms around me and gives me a hug that says so much more than gifts, I will know he loves me because he doesn't wait for this day to tell me he does.

I love you, Babe!

Over The River And Through The Woods...

2012-02-13T18:32:00.000-07:00

...To Grandmothers House We Go.

Tonight we went to see Grandpa and Grandma Pierce. I love to go see these guys, I always have a good laugh when I am there. They love us so much and we love them.

Thanks Grandpa and Grandma for letting us come crash your night to hang out with you. I love you!

Gabe

2012-02-12T22:58:00.000-07:00

Well, today my baby turned 10. He is getting so big! Where did the time go? I just love this little guy, he is so loving and always wants to make sure everyone around him is happy and having fun. Here are some pictures of him opening presents. He had a good day, he said. Love you buddy!

Gabe wanted a new poster for his bedroom so he got a Marvel poster with all of the super heros on it.

He was super excited to get the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. He has been begging to get them.

Gabe is in after-school chess this year and he was excited to get the Harry Potter chess game.

The girls got one of these chairs for their birthdays and so Gabe has just been waiting to get his own. He loves it.

He also got a blanket (well, he will get it as soon as I finish it) He is very excited to have a new blanket. He is still fighting me on whether or not he has to give up his baby blanket to get it though.

Busy, Busy Saturday

2012-02-11T22:32:00.000-07:00

Today was super busy but super fun. Even though I was determined to sleep in, I woke up wide awake at 7am. I went to the gym and then went to get the rest of Gabe's presents.

Then, when I got home we got ready and went to the Dicken's get-together. That was really fun because we got to see all of the people we spent so much time with during our Dicken's time. Not everyone was able to come, which made me sad, but it was fun seeing those who did come.

After our get-together, we went bowling for Gabe's birthday. This was super fun! Amanda came with us and we had a blast. Here are some pictures.

Afterwards we came home and watched a movie together as a family. It was a really good day!

Finally, It's Friday

2012-02-10T22:15:00.000-07:00

This week has been one of the longest, most tiring weeks I can remember. I am just glad it is over and I can enjoy the weekend with my kids.

Visitors

2012-02-09T23:40:00.002-07:00

Today Mimmie and Papa came to visit. We had fun, we went out to eat dinner and had fun visiting. After we got home, we had them help us with Maria's science experiment. We had to see if music effects blood pressure for the experiment and we had to do it on three different people. So...Mimmie and Papa were voted to be two of them. It was funny to actually see that the rock music really did affect their blood pressure, making it go up. Me, on the other hand...my blood pressure went down :) Funny.

Mess With My Friends...I Dare You!

2012-02-08T06:45:00.000-07:00

Picture was shared by Damun Vidoz on FB

So today I ran into a situation where I had to defend one of my friends. First of all, this particular friend would do ANYTHING for ANYBODY! I would even venture to guess that even tomorrow, he would do something nice for the person I had to defend him against today.

So, I just don't understand some people and their thinking...do they think if they bully people they will get what they want? That does NOT work for me. You bully me and I will push back with force. It will not only make me NOT want to help you, it will move you to the bottom of my list of priorities.

Life

2012-02-07T19:10:00.000-07:00

I love this saying...it is so true. But how many of us keep wishing for something we don't have. Today, as I thought to myself for the thousandth time since Vince left that I wish it could just be March 17th already, I realized that if it were I would have lost two months worth of mine and the kids' lives.

I would have missed Gabe's birthday, and the Lady Antebellum concert. I would have missed Ally driving roads for the first time, and missed Jenecee getting herself out of bed at 3:30am to go do baptisms for the dead. I would have missed getting to watch my nephews and holding my new baby neice. I would have missed Maria trying out for the school play, and getting excited about speaking parts. I would have missed out on so many things.

It is hard not to wish for parts of our lives to go faster, but you can never get back today once tomorrow comes so we need to live each day fully.

I Need You To Vote...

2012-02-06T23:36:00.002-07:00

So, here are the colors I am pretty sure we are going to be doing in our front room (if you click on the pictures they will be bigger)...

I need to pick out a rug that will go with the colors in the wall and I have narrowed it down to 4 but I can't decide. I would love it if you guys would vote and let me know which you all like. Here they are...

Rug #1

Rug #2

Some of the larger outlines on this one are the red.

Rug #3

Rug #4

Okay, you can't really see...but some of the little circles in this one are the red.

Please go to my sidebar and vote...thank you!

Superbowl Commercials Rock!

2012-02-05T22:23:00.000-07:00

Haha...even though I LOVE football...especially my patriots (yes, I love the patriots...even when they forget to come play a big important game), the commercials are the best part.

My #1 favorite commercial this year? The one with Betty White, of course!!!

Good Friends Are Irreplacable!

2012-02-04T20:26:00.002-07:00

So, I had two friends come over and help me out at the house today and it was so great. I have been dreading doing the ceilings of the kitchen, entryway and front room and so I have put it off. But these guys insisted on helping.

When you have people that are so willing to come help, on their day off, that means they are your true friends.

And friends that are so fun make a crappy, mundane task so much better and actually kind of fun to do.

Thanks Amanda and Al!!

I Heard From Him!!

2012-02-03T20:20:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh that was a long two weeks of not talking to my hubby!! It gives me new perspective of what my sisters-in-law have gone through while their hubby's were on deployment (except they go SO much longer without talking to them).

So, I was sitting at my desk at work and my phone rang. I didn't recognize the phone number so I just silenced my phone (I don't usually answer numbers I don't know), then a thought came that it might be Vince, so I picked it up. And oh the handsome voice on the other end!

It was so good to hear his voice and know that he is okay. I have been so worried about him because I know just how much this one sucks. We were both sad that the kids didn't get to talk to him, but they only gave him a few minutes and so he had to take advantage of it. Hopefully next time he will be able to talk to them.

It's Been That Kind Of Day

2012-02-02T22:31:00.002-07:00

2012-02-01T07:10:00.000-07:00

I don't know if you all remember back in October when Extreme Home Makeover came to Utah (Daybreak to be specific) to help a wonderful little guy named Jonah and his family. Jonah has some blood disorders but he never lets it get him down. Jonah and his sister Ellie go to our school so I get the privilege to see them every day. They are so sweet and always come in with a smile on their faces. Same with Mom and Grandma who always find a way to help at our school.

This family is amazing and they are always giving of themselves and trying to give back to a community that has given so much to them. I love this little family and it makes my day when I see them. Today is Jonah's birthday and so I wanted to make him a cake and this is what we did.

Anyone who watched the show knows just how big a fan Jonah is of Real Salt Lake soccer team

The Great Wall of Emotion

2012-01-31T21:17:00.000-07:00

So, I finally hit the wall last night. All of the emotion I have been trying to hold in for a week and a half finally came to surface. I thought I had been doing really well. I have trudged on and tried to put on a strong face for the kids. But apparently I have just held off the inevitable. You know what they say, "sometimes you need a good cry". Well, I do NOT agree with that! I woke up this morning with puffy eyes and a headache the size of New Hampshire. It took me half way through the day until I felt I had recovered.

However, I did recover and I will go on putting on a strong face for the kids and trudge on. Last night one of my facebook friends posted this on my wall:

I will use this to help me get through. I will continue to try everyday. I am not saying it will make it any easier, but I will be able to say at the end that I did not give up.

Putting My Life In Ally's Hands

2012-01-30T22:12:00.003-07:00

Tonight I took a huge leap and trusted Ally to drive other than in our little neighborhood. Tonight I let her drive both to West Valley and then again back (coming back was in the dark). She did so good! She is really confident!!! Good job, Ally...I am so proud of you!

Just Need My Hubby

2012-01-29T23:05:00.002-07:00

I don't have much today...just needing my hubby. Struggling a little tonight, hoping tomorrow when I get up I will be able to put on my strong face and make it through the day. That's right, I gave up on trying to get through the two months, I have decided I can't look at it that way. I am just going to focus on making it through each day and hope the two months go by fast.

Visit From Nat And The Kids

2012-01-28T22:50:00.000-07:00

So, today I finally got to meet my newest neice, Alayna. I was not at the baby blessing so it was fun to see her today. We watched the boys (minus Preston) while Natalie went to lunch with some of the ladies from her unit (their men deployed). I am so glad that we could help her while she enjoyed some much needed time to sit back and relax. I hope she will let us help out again soon. Here are a few pictures of the sweet baby with Jen and Maria.

A New Appreciation For What Vince Does For Me

2012-01-27T19:59:00.000-07:00

There are many things I appreciate Vince for, but today I learned to appreciate something simple that he does every week for me when he is in town. I realized just how nice it is that every Friday when we have early day at school that he picks up the kids and brings them home so that I can continue to work until my day is done. Today, I had the kids after school and it is really hard to get work done when they are hovering and trying to figure out what to do after their homework is done. I've always know that when he picks them up that it helps, but now I know just how much. After having to do this for 8 weeks while he is gone, I will make sure and tell him thank you more and let him know just how much I appreciate this small act.

We Made It A Week!

2012-01-26T20:57:00.001-07:00

Well, we officially made it a week. Last Thursday is when we dropped vince off at the airport. I can't tell if it was a long week or a fast week. It depends on the moment, I suppose. A few things I have realized over the week...

1. This is going to be hard. As much as I try to convince myself I have done this before, it doesn't make it any easier.

2. This is going to be long. Although we have made it through a week, we still have 7 weeks.

3. No matter how long or hard, if the kids and I work together, we will be able to make it through this. It will make it seem easier and shorter if we all try to help each other through this time.

4. I saw this saying and this is what is going to get me through. STRENGTH...

"Inside Your Heaven"

2012-01-25T23:47:00.000-07:00

So, I don't know how I missed this song. Apparently I have had it in Itunes forever, but I had never heard it (at least not that I know) and I love it! Jen was listening to it tonight and I fell in love with it.

Gabe Is No Longer A Bear?

2012-01-24T22:16:00.000-07:00

So, Gabe will be 10 next month and he just finished up everything he needs to earn his Bear. He is super excited to go into Weeblos and learn more stuff. He is eating up all of this scout stuff and just loves hanging with the other boys. Since Vince will be gone, they are trying to figure out if they can postpone him recieving his Bear award until Vince is home. That would be totally awesome for Gabe because Vince was gone for when he recieved his Wolf and he would really like to share this with his dad.

Good job, Buddy!

A New Adventure For Allyson

2012-01-23T22:12:00.000-07:00

So, because of the move back into the house we decided to change Ally at the semester to a school closer (other than the one down the street from our house since it SUCKS) to where the other kids go to school so we moved her to Copperhills High School. She is a little apprehensive and nervous, but I have no worries that she will do fine! She is so resilient and makes friends so easily I really am not worried at all. Plus, some of her friends from Navigator go there so she already knows people.

She is super excited because with moving at the semester we weren't sure if she would get her Woods class that she wanted, but she did. She is one of three girls in the class of 34 but I think she will like it. She loves to make things with her hands and is so talented in that kind of thing.

Here's to hoping she will do great there just like she always does.

Have I Learned To Trust?

2012-01-22T21:49:00.000-07:00

So, in the past I have been known to make hasty decisions based on my current situation. I haven't been known to ask in prayer if what we are doing is right, I just take my thoughts and justify to get it. This has sometimes worked out for me, but usually not. And usually after I have realized that, yet again, I haven't learned my lesson I tell myself that the next time I am going to ask my Heavenly Father what to do. But, then the next time comes and I start my same ol' thing. My sweet husband usually goes along with me and doesn't put up too much of a fight.

Well, I think I have learned my lesson. In August we moved and we have been fixing up our house to sell. We talked to a realtor and signed paperwork to put the house on the market just as soon as we got everything done. Well, throughout the process we have come to realize that it isn't going to sell for what we need and so we have been trying to figure out what to do. We have three options. 1. Try to sell and take a HUGE hit. 2. Rent the house and hope that the tenants don't royally ruin all of the hard work and money we have put into the house or 3. We could move back in.

This time, I decided to pray and fast about what to do and Vince did the same. The answer we got was to move back in. So, while Vince is gone for these two months, I am going to be slowly moving stuff back in to our house and we should be completely in by April.

I will say that I am a little bit excited...afterall, it will be practically a brand new house with all of the updates we have done. I will have to do a post on before and after pictures in the near future.

Visiting Grandma and Grandpa

2012-01-21T17:14:00.000-07:00

So, the kids went to visit grandpa and grandma this weekend. They always have so much fun when they are there. They did some crafts, baked a cake, played some games, watched some movies. Just good ol' fun. I wished I could have been there but I had to work yesterday so I had to stay home from the fun. I missed them while they were there.

I was so happy to go pick them up today, I couldn't even stand it. It is always a good feeling when you walk through the door and the kids run to give you a hug. I love it!

"The Silent Ranks"

2012-01-20T20:15:00.003-07:00

When Vince went on deployment years ago, the commander gave this poem to every wife in the unit.

The Silent Ranks

Author: unknown

I wear no uniforms, no blues or army greens.

But I am in the military in the ranks rarely seen.

I have no rank upon my shoulders.

Salutes I do not give.

But the military world is the place where I live.

I'm not in the chain of command, orders I do not get.

But my husband is the one who does, this I can not forget.

I'm not the one who fires the weapon,

who puts my life on the line.

But my job is just as tough.

I'm the one that's left behind.

My husband is a patriot, a brave and prideful man

and the call to serve his country not all can understand.

Behind the lines I see the things needed to keep this country free.

My husband makes the sacrifice.

But so do our kids and me.

I love the man I married.

Soldiering is his life.

But I stand among the silent ranks

known as the Military Wife.

I Love My Husband!

2012-01-19T20:58:00.000-07:00

So, I don't know if you all know, but I have a great husband! I don't know what I did to deserve him, but I am glad I did it. He just knows the perfect time to give me a hug or kiss and he just makes me feel loved! I know there are some people who think his leaving is a sign that he just doesn't care, but I think just the opposite. He gives up his time to spend with me and the kids so that he can support our family and give us the comforts we have. I am glad that he is willing to do his job without complaint and that he keeps us all safe. Thanks Babe for all you do for the kids and I. We love you so much! We will miss you so much while you are gone.

"You're Still The One"

2012-01-18T19:41:00.000-07:00

So, because we eloped at a young age, you can only imagine how many people thought we wouldn't make it...some even telling us that to our faces. Well, I have to say we have made it a long way! It has been 16 (almost 17) wonderful years and we are still going strong. The song, "You're Still The One" by Shania Twain has long been "OUR SONG".

Vince will forever be the one for me. I love you tons, Babe!

"Don't Carpe Diem"

2012-01-17T22:00:00.001-07:00

Lately, I have been feeling like I have failed as a mom...then tonight I read this on Facebook where a friend shared the link. You can find it at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html It is awesome! I loved it and thought someone out there might benefit from it as well. Enjoy...and "Don't Carpe Diem"

Every time I'm out with my kids -- this seems to happen:

An older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, "Oh, Enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast."

Everywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, raise my awareness, be happy, enjoy every second, etc, etc, etc.

I know that this message is right and good. But, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn't work for me. It bugs me. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life - while I'm raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I'm not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I'm doing something wrong.

I think parenting young children (and old ones, I've heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up.

And so I think that if there were people stationed, say, every thirty feet along Mount Everest yelling to the climbers -- "ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE! ONE DAY YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T!" TRUST US!! IT'LL BE OVER TOO SOON! CARPE DIEM!" -- those well-meaning, nostalgic cheerleaders might be physically thrown from the mountain.

Now. I'm not suggesting that the sweet old ladies who tell me to ENJOY MYSELF be thrown from a mountain. These are wonderful ladies. Monkees, probably. But last week, a woman approached me in the Target line and said the following: "Sugar, I hope you are enjoying this. I loved every single second of parenting my two girls. Every single moment. These days go by so fast."

At that particular moment, Amma had arranged one of the new bras I was buying on top of her sweater and was sucking a lollipop that she must have found on the ground. She also had three shop-lifted clip-on neon feathers stuck in her hair. She looked exactly like a contestant from Toddlers and Tiaras. I couldn't find Chase anywhere, and Tish was grabbing the pen on the credit card swiper thing WHILE the woman in front of me was trying to use it. And so I just looked at the woman, smiled and said, "Thank you. Yes. Me too. I am enjoying every single moment. Especially this one. Yes. Thank you."

That's not exactly what I wanted to say, though.

There was a famous writer who, when asked if he loved writing, replied, "No. but I love having written." What I wanted to say to this sweet woman was, "Are you sure? Are you sure you don't mean you love having parented?"

I love having written. And I love having parented. My favorite part of each day is when the kids are put to sleep (to bed) and Craig and I sink into the couch to watch some quality TV, like Celebrity Wife Swap, and congratulate each other on a job well done. Or a job done, at least.

Every time I write a post like this, I get emails suggesting that I'm being negative. I have received this particular message four or five times -- G, if you can't handle the three you have, why do you want a fourth?

That one always stings, and I don't think it's quite fair. Parenting is hard. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. Why is it that the second a mother admits that it's hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she's not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn't add more to her load. Maybe the fact that it's so hard means she IS doing it right...in her own way...and she happens to be honest.

Craig is a software salesman. It's a hard job in this economy. And he comes home each day and talks a little bit about how hard it is. And I don't ever feel the need to suggest that he's not doing it right, or that he's negative for noticing that it's hard, or that maybe he shouldn't even consider taking on more responsibility. And I doubt anybody comes by his office to make sure he's ENJOYING HIMSELF. I doubt his boss peeks in his office and says: "This career stuff...it goes by so fast...ARE YOU ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT IN THERE, CRAIG???? CARPE DIEM, CRAIG!"

My point is this. I used to worry that not only was I failing to do a good enough job at parenting, but that I wasn't enjoying it enough. Double failure. I felt guilty because I wasn't in parental ecstasy every hour of every day and I wasn't MAKING THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT like the mamas in the parenting magazines seemed to be doing. I felt guilty because honestly, I was tired and cranky and ready for the day to be over quite often. And because I knew that one day, I'd wake up and the kids would be gone, and I'd be the old lady in the grocery store with my hand over my heart. Would I be able to say I enjoyed every moment? No.

But the fact remains that I will be that nostalgic lady. I just hope to be one with a clear memory. And here's what I hope to say to the younger mama gritting her teeth in line:

"It's helluva hard, isn't it? You're a good mom, I can tell. And I like your kids, especially that one peeing in the corner. She's my favorite. Carry on, warrior. Six hours till bedtime." And hopefully, every once in a while, I'll add -- "Let me pick up that grocery bill for ya, sister. Go put those kids in the van and pull on up -- I'll have them bring your groceries out."

Anyway. Clearly, Carpe Diem doesn't work for me. I can't even carpe fifteen minutes in a row, so a whole diem is out of the question.

Here's what does work for me:

There are two different types of time. Chronos time is what we live in. It's regular time, it's one minute at a time, it's staring down the clock till bedtime time, it's ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it's four screaming minutes in time out time, it's two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.

Then there's Kairos time. Kairos is God's time. It's time outside of time. It's metaphysical time. It's those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day. And I cherish them.

Like when I actually stop what I'm doing and really look at Tish. I notice how perfectly smooth and brownish her skin is. I notice the perfect curves of her teeny elf mouth and her asianish brown eyes, and I breathe in her soft Tishy smell. In these moments, I see that her mouth is moving but I can't hear her because all I can think is -- This is the first time I've really seen Tish all day, and my God -- she is so beautiful. Kairos.

Like when I'm stuck in chronos time in the grocery line and I'm haggard and annoyed and angry at the slow check-out clerk. And then I look at my cart and I'm transported out of chronos. And suddenly I notice the piles and piles of healthy food I'll feed my children to grow their bodies and minds and I remember that most of the world's mamas would kill for this opportunity. This chance to stand in a grocery line with enough money to pay. And I just stare at my cart. At the abundance. The bounty. Thank you, God. Kairos.

Or when I curl up in my cozy bed with Theo asleep at my feet and Craig asleep by my side and I listen to them both breathing. And for a moment, I think- how did a girl like me get so lucky? To go to bed each night surrounded by this breath, this love, this peace, this warmth? Kairos.

These kairos moments leave as fast as they come- but I mark them. I say the word kairos in my head each time I leave chronos. And at the end of the day, I don't remember exactly what my kairos moments were, but I remember I had them. And that makes the pain of the daily parenting climb worth it.

If I had a couple Kairos moments during the day, I call it a success.

Carpe a couple of Kairoses a day.

Good enough for me.

The Dread Is Setting In

2012-01-16T18:04:00.000-07:00

As I sit here, watching Vince pull out all of his gear from his duffle bag to go through and label, I am starting to dread this school he is going to. He will be gone for two months. I know if I take a minute to think about it, that isn't very long at all. Nothing like the year that my brothers-in-law have either done or are getting ready to do. He won't be getting shot at or having to worry about stepping on a roadside bomb like they did/do. But I still hate having him gone.

I know I can do it, without complaining (too much), but I don't want to...anymore than he wants to go. This won't be a fun school for him to go to anymore than it will be fun for us having him gone.

We will just have to suck it up and make it through these two months. We will have plenty to do while he is gone to keep us busy, so I am glad for that. But nothing replaces Dad when he is gone, right?

Am I One Of the Mocking?

2012-01-15T17:47:00.000-07:00

Today during Sunday School (yes, I went to church two weeks in a row; yes, I am just as shocked as you) we learned about the tree of life.

Now, pretty much every LDS person knows this story as we have all ~~read~~ started reading the Book of Mormon at least a hundred times. For those who may not know about this story it is a story about Lehi and his family. After fleeing to the wilderness escaping those who wanted to kill them, he had a dream about the tree of life. This tree represents the love of God. Along the way there is a strait and narrow path, a mist of darkness, an iron rod, river of water, a tree with sweet fruit, and a large and spacious building with people. All of these individual things have meaning, but today I am thinking about the large and spacious building with people in it.

I have always learned that the people in this building are the wicked people who are trying to keep us from getting to the tree (or to the Love of God). In what I have always learned, they are standing up there mocking those who are on their way, leading some astray. I have also always believed I was one of those people on the path instead of the building. But today, as I sat listening to the lesson and the comments given, I heard a new idea about those people up there in the building. Someone brought up the idea that maybe there were some people who were up in the building who mock people and poke fun of people, but don't realize that they are in the building; they think they are still on the path.

Am I one of those? I would hope the answer to this question would be "no", but how can I be sure? I am not one to go to church every week, I am one who will sometimes go to the grocery store instead of go to church. There are times I get frustrated with people who think all there is is the church, all the while thinking it won't make a difference. However, since I have started going to church more often, I have seen a difference in the way that I treat people. Why is that? Is it because when I go to church, I feel the spirit more and it stays with me throughout the week? Perhaps. Is it because the Lord is blessing me for taking the time to go to church? Perhaps. I don't know the reason for this, exactly. All I know is that I like feeling this way. I don't want to be one of those people who think they are on the strait and narrow pathway to Heavenly Father when, indeed, I am actually up there in that building mocking and poking fun at people who are trying to do right.

I need to really step back and take the time to analyze which kind of person I am, because I KNOW I want to be on the path instead of in the building.

Super Excited

2012-01-14T10:25:00.000-07:00

Today we went and picked out the countertop that will be put in our house and I am super excited. Here is the color we picked out for the granite we got.

We also got a blcak sink to have since our appliances are black. I am so excited. The house is almost done now!

Friday 13th

2012-01-13T09:45:00.000-07:00

So, what is it about Friday the 13th that makes it so "unlucky"? I never understood this and I never really have lived my life different on this day. There is a guy at work who was born on Friday the 13th and he is convinced that it is his "lucky" day. Well, today is his birthday, yup on Friday the 13th and he has convinced all of his students once again that it makes it a lucky day instead of an unlucky day. I love it. He is always so positive and there is much to learn from him. I know this is a random post but I just wanted to say that one should not make changes to their everyday life just because someone deems it "unlucky".

Being A Mom Is Hard!

2012-01-12T09:42:00.000-07:00

So, I am sitting here wondering why it is that I am such a pushover...I have this problem where I want everyone to be happy ALL OF THE TIME! I will set boundaries but then I give in because they are sad. I need to learn a balance. I need to learn that not everyone will be happy all of the time. I need to learn to stand my ground. This is something I am going to be working on for the next little while. Wish me luck.

Dishes, Dishes, Dishes

2012-01-11T19:22:00.000-07:00

Why is it that everytime I walk into my kitchen it seems to be piled high with dishes, even just an hour after I fill the dishwasher? It is a never ending battle and it is one thing I hate to do. Maybe it is because the kitchen is a revolving door, I don't know.

Tonight was no different. I had a tiring day at work, came home, helped the kids with homework, fixed dinner and then turned around and what did I see? A kitchen full of dishes! Grr... So, while the kids finished their homework, I turned up the music and dug into the dishes.

After filling the dishwasher I decided the leftover dishes could not wait for the next load (I usually just leave them for a second load) so I did those by hand. Before I knew it, I looked around and they were done! I had a perfectly clean kitchen and high spirits. It is amazing what hard work to make something look so nice can do for a bad mood. I have decided that sometimes, just sometimes....doing dishes is therapeutic.

The Road Not Taken

2012-01-10T21:44:00.002-07:00

Have you ever looked back on a decision that you made in your life and wondered just how different your life would have been had you taken the other choice? I am sure you have, we all have. I know that there have been times that I have wondered how a different decision would have changed my life. I also know that the more I look at certain decisions, the more I realize just how much I love my life and would not want to go back and change those critical decisions. I know that had I made what seemed the better choice back then I wouldn't have the wonderful life with a wonderful family/friends that I have now. I love my life and my family/friends and would not change any of it for anything.

The Road Not Taken

By Robert Frost

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth; 5

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same, 10

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back. 15

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

A Few Words Say It All

2012-01-09T23:02:00.003-07:00

Just a few words to describe how I feel today...."MY FAMILY IS WHAT KEEPS ME STRONG!"

"Living What We Believe"

2012-01-08T20:16:00.001-07:00

Went to church today and I LOVED the lesson in Relief Society. We talked about living what we believe and also loving thy neighbor as thyself. These are both areas I could use some work on and felt the spirit while listening to the lesson confirming that I can succeed in these areas. I would just like to share a few of the things that touched me today.

First, some quotes by Pres. George Albert Smith about living what we believe. These were some things he listed as his personal creed and the following are the ones I would like to work on.

I would not seek to force people to live up to my ideals but rather love them into doing the thing that is right.
I would not knowingly wound the feelings of any, not even one who may have wronged me, but would seek to do him good and make him my friend.
I would overcome the tendency to selfishness and jealousy and rejoice in the successes of all the children of my Heavenly Father.

Pres. George Albert Smith said once, "I do not have an enemy that I know of, and there is no one in the world that I have enmity towards. All men and all women are my Father's children, and I have sought during my life to observe the wise direction...to love my neighbor as myself."

What a great example. I wish that I could say that I do not have even one enemy. I am sure that my life has not been one that would produce such things. I also wish I could say that there is no one in the world that I have enmity towards. I need to live my life better so that when I die, I might be able to say these things.

I also hope that I can teach my children the importance of loving all those around them. I know I can tell them this, but I also have to be a better example of this. I need to watch what I say around them and correct them when needed.

I definitely have a few things to ponder on and try to come up with someway to succeed in my new goals.

Friendship

2012-01-07T19:37:00.000-07:00

I have experienced different friendships throughout my life...fair weather friends; friends of convenience; friends who pretend to care but really have ulterior motives; friends who are there for you only when they feel like it; friends who talk about you when you are not around; friends who think they can treat you badly and say mean things because they know you will put up with it; friends who are there for you all of the time whether in thought, a phone call, or physically there. Unfortunately the last one is the only true type of friend. The others do not qualify. I have had very few of these true friends in my life but I cherish those true friendships. Here are some cute saying about TRUE friendship...

And I heard it once said that "A true friend is one who you can see after ten years and sit down and talk like you never left."

Thank you to all of those "True" friends that have been in my life.

TGIF

2012-01-06T17:51:00.000-07:00

I am so glad that it is Friday. I am so excited to spend the weekend with my family and just enjoy having them close. I know there will be a point in the weekend where Vince and I will leave the kids home and head over to work on the West Valley house, but I am going to enjoy the kids all I can other than that. I am thinking maybe we will have a movie night or just watch something funny like "Wipeout". We love Wipeout! Family is awesome and I couldn't have asked for a better one.

Good Day!

2012-01-05T20:47:00.000-07:00

You know those days when you are in a great mood and then you look back at your day to find out why but can't find a good reason that you are in such a good mood? Well, I have had one of those days today. I will not complain, I will just enjoy!

These Will Put A Smile On Your Face

2012-01-04T20:32:00.000-07:00

This is why we love children!

NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertivle ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old should from the back seat, "Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now, she is hitting the bottle."

MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himslef in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

POLICE #1

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6-years-old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" I answered, "Yes" and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right." I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

POLICE #2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is" I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a class. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of qustions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not darling?" "You know that it alwasy gives you a headache the next morning."

DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling htat proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cottonwool, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.

The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with wonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooooes."

SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I am just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!"

BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found" the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it is Adam's underwear!"

I hope you all enjoyed these as much as I did. I had been down this morning and when I got to work today, I found these on my desk from a friend and it really helped put a smile on my face. Thanks Amanda!

A Great Bargain Is Therapeutic!

2012-01-03T22:41:00.000-07:00

So, January always starts me off great with trying to get better in a lot of areas...eating better, not drinking ~~as much~~ coke, spending less. If you have it in your mind that it is because it is New Years and we are all making resolutions to cut back, you may be a little off.

You see, because I work at a school and get Christmas break off (which I love by the way), my paycheck is always ~~next to nothing~~ err somewhat lacking the last part January having only 4 days on that paycheck. So, in January I always go back to my "Plan a whole months worth of meals, making sure I use what is in my pantry first" plan. I did this on January 1 and sure enough by that night I had a monthly menu and a grocery list I was content with. I made my grocery list so that I could get ALL non-perishable foods up front and then made another list of what to get each week thereafter.

You see, I used to be a master of this trait before I became ~~an undomesticated heathen who started driving through too many drive-thru windows~~ a working mom. I would do just what I explained and then take it a step further. I would, after getting all of the groceries put nicely away, proceed to do the prep work for the whole month. Yes, you guessed it. I would cook meat, chop vegetables and freeze them in the amounts each recipe called for, I even sometimes prepared the whole meal and froze it to be taken out of the freezer the night before and have it ready when everyone would get home. I was a monster! I did not take it this far tonight, but I am proud of what I did accomplish.

I went to my favorite grocery store (the one and only Winco) with my list in hand ready to tackle the bargains. After spending almost two hours in the store making sure I was not going to spend one more dime than I should, I headed to the register to unload a months worth of groceries (minus the perishable foods for the following weeks). I had in my mind that I had done so well in getting bargains that I would not be spending more than $200 for what I had on my list.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!! Not only did I stay under the $200 but I had only spent $154! I was floored...I forgot how exciting it was to see what the time spent planning was worth. You see, ever since I started working I would still sometimes get myself organized to go to the grocery store, but I hadn't taken the time to really stop and compare prices. It is so rewarding to see the amazing price of preparation.

A GREAT BARGAIN IS THERAPEUTIC!

Already??

2012-01-02T19:38:00.000-07:00

So, you know how I said I was hoping to make it to ~~January 5th~~ err April 1 without drinking a coke? Well, I broke it already today. I decided that the first day back to school was NOT the best day to start (yesterday didn't count because I still had so much coke in my system from New Years). I am not proud and can't say that I regret it either. Maybe I can just work out more and still drink coke...no, that won't work...I am just going to have to be stronger.

2012

2012-01-01T23:38:00.001-07:00

It is the new year and we all know what that means...setting goals ~~and breaking them~~ and trying our darndest to make it past ~~January 5th~~ April 1st without breaking those goals. In the spirit of the season, I have of course set my own set of goals. Here they are...I can't promise to make it past ~~January 5th~~ err April 1st without breaking them but I am going to give it the good ol' college try.

1. I am going to stop drinking coke again! I know what some of you are thinking...I set this goal for myself every January 1st and again the next year I sit here and do the same goal. Well, for all you smartie pants, what you don't know is that I do this many more times during the year, this is just the only time of year you get to hear about it.

2. I am going to get back to the gym at least every other day. I can't promise more than that because the other days I will be taking Allyson to seminary at the butt crack of dawn instead of going to the gym...still a worthy cause :).

3. I am going to try to be more positive. I am going to have this goal both at home and at work. The work one has been hard lately, but I feel this is a worthy goal. Who knows...I might actually find that people like me more when I am more positive.

4. I am going to try to blog every day. The biggest reason for this is not just to let my ~~100's of fans~~ 15 followers know what we are doing, but Vince will be gone a lot of this year and so it is sometimes just easier to have him go onto this here blog and read about what he wasn't able to be part of than to try to remember everything that happens for two months of absence at a time.

5. I am going to try to limit take-out to only 1 time per month. This is something I am really going to have to work at. With our lives being so crazy the last few months, I have found myself driving through WAY too many drive-thru windows. We actually all got to where we couldn't even think about what we wanted because we were so sick of fast-food.

There you have it...those are the goals I am going to try to keep. The thing is that I know I CAN do every one of them, but the real question is...How bad do I want it?

November and December Catch-up

2011-12-29T21:09:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness...where do I start?

Just before Thanksgiving, Maria graduated from the D.A.R.E. program. She had a lot of fun in the program and learned a lot. We are proud of her for taking the time and making promises to stay away from harmful things.

Here she is with Officer Peterson

Here she is with our Director, Mrs. Farris

Thanksgiving was great of course! This is my favorite time of the year. A time when you get to sit back and be thankful (even though we really should do this all year). This year Mom and Dad Pierce, Nick, Leah and Lucy (Vince's sister and her husband and daughter), and my friend Amanda came to spend this special day with us. It was a wonderful day of just hanging with family. It was one of those days that will stay in my memory for a long time.

For those of you who didn't know, my kids all had the opportunity to participate in the Dickens Festival in the plays "Oliver Twist" and "Scrooge".

In Oliver, Jenecee and Gabe were orphans

They are supposed to have their "Angry" faces on here.

In Oliver Maria and Allyson were pickpockets. Unfortunately I didn't get any good pics of them in their Oliver costumes (could have kicked myself) because I was over the "orphan wranglers" so I was busy with the 23 little munchkins most of the time.

In Scrooge, the kids were part of a family. Again, no pictures of all of them, but here are a few that have them in them.

Maria is front and center (although she always manages to get her head down just when the picture is being taken), Ally is to the right

Again, Ally is to the right. Gabe is two over from her under the hat

Jenecee with her "Mom"

Allyson was also one of the "women" in the cast during Scrooge. Here she is during one of the scenes...

I am extremely proud of the kids. They put in months of preparation, up to two week nights and 5 hours every Saturday to get ready. They took blankets and food and homework with them (at times it looked like we had moved in) and took the time to get homework done while not practicing. They were so dedicated and have already expressed a want to participate again next year.

Jenecee in the midst of all of this craziness was also in the after school production. She had so much fun, even though she was exhausted a lot of the time. If you ask her she would do both again. I am proud of her for hanging int here between the two, it couldn't have been easy. Here are some pictures of her.

After all of the craziness was over we spent some quality family time, doing puzzles, cleaning the house, playing games, watched movies and just had some much needed relaxation.

Ally and Kassy still had school this day

We made Christmas cookies (or at least tried to...never did get to the baking part...just the cutting out part). Deven got to do this with us.

Then there was Christmas! This year was a little more special than in years past. The kids decided they wanted to give up one of their presents so that we could do a secret santa for a family that we know that does not have much. They had so much fun doing this! It really shows me that my kids have the spirit of giving and that helps keep things in perspective for me. I am so proud of my kids for having this idea. Here are some of my favorite pictures of Christmas this year. There are some with their presents but most of them are just us spending time as a family, having fun.

And here is a sneak preview on a post yet to come...

I hope everyone has had as fun a year as I have had. Here is to hoping the coming year is every bit as wonderful for us all!

Oh! The Places You'll Go

2011-11-20T18:01:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorite poems. I don't know why, but tonight it lifts my spirits.

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

by the incomparable Dr. Seuss

Congratulations!

Today is your day.

You’re off to Great Places!

You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

You’ll be on your way up!

You’ll be seeing great sights!

You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t.

Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.

No! That’s not for you!

Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.

All Alone!

Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?

Yes! You will, indeed!

(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)

Kid, you’ll move mountains!

So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!

Today is your day!

Your mountain is waiting.

So…get on your way!

Dicken's Festival

2011-11-06T07:42:00.000-07:00

So, although everyone has been telling me how crazy I was to let ALL FOUR kids do the Dicken's Festival, it has been a great adventure so far. Yes, it takes up a big chunk of time but the kids have been having so much fun! They are learning so much and growing in acting and singing. This is something every one of them loves to do and I am so happy they are getting the chance outside of school to experience this. Here are some pictures of the kids at rehearsal and a video of one of Allyson and Maria's songs from rehearsal.

(I believe if you click on the picture it will come up bigger and then you can see the detail and the kids better)

http://dickenstheaterco.blogspot.com/2011/10/consider-yourself.html?spref=bl

My New Favorite Song

2011-10-26T18:19:00.000-06:00

Scotty McCreery - Dirty Dishes

I love this song...

2011 Family Vacation (Better Late Than Never)

2011-10-08T00:14:00.001-06:00

So, I was just looking back at past posts and realized I never did post about our family vacation this summer to Las Vegas. So, here it is. I didn't take near as many pictures as the time we went to California :). I will say that when Jenecee found out that is where we finally decided to go on our trip, she was on the internet for hours finding family-friendly activities for us to do. We had a lot of fun doing some of the activities she found.

July 3 - July 10, 2011

We spent the majority of our time just relaxing at the condo and swimming. I don't think there was a day we were in Vegas that we didn't go to the pool to swim.

For the 4th of July we had a BBQ, swam and then took the kids to Henderson to watch fireworks. It was fun, but nothing like the fireworks we usually go to in Midvale.

This was the dessert we made for 4th of july...it was delicious!

One day we decided we wanted to try out a farmer's market since we had never been to one, so we headed out to one the internet said was one of the best in Vegas. There wasn't more than 4 vendors with over-priced food. They only had one stand that had fruit and it was okay, but I was disappointed.

We decided we wanted to hang out so we walked over to a nearby park and had some fun.

Another place we took the kids was to the Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay. If you haven't gone, you should. It is amazing. The kids got to touch sting rays, we walked through a tunnel where sharks were swimming around and over you. The jelly fish were one of my favorite things. Just cool.

The kids of course wanted to go on the New York, New York roller coaster so we headed over there one day. We found when we got there that it would cost us less to purchase the all day pass for everyone with the military discount than it would have been to purchase two rides each at full price, so we went ahead and did the all day pass. It was fun. There wasn't very many people and so we ended up going like 8 times in a row. We came back later that night to ride it in the dark just for fun.

Another day we took the kids to see the M. Ethel Chocolate Factory and Botanical Cactus Garden in Henderson. This was a really fun place. We got to see where they make chocolates and got to taste some of the chocolate. They had a cool store there too. Just outside the chocolate factory there was a Botanical Cactus Garden. It was so cool! I never imagined there were so many different kinds of cactus. It was really hot, but we sure enjoyed ourselves.

The kids' all time favorite part of the trip was going to the M&M World. We spent hours there! We even took time to watch the 3D M&M movie. It was so much fun.

Maria

Jenecee

Allyson

Gabe

We also had quite a few movie nights where we all got in our pajamas, popped popcorn and just had some great family time.

This trip was really fun, although the kids have figured out Vegas isn't nearly as fun as it sounds. I am glad we went there like they wanted to, but we have had our fill of Vegas.

Why We Decided To Get A Rabbit

2011-09-24T23:18:00.022-06:00

This is why...

What do these little creatures have to do with why we have a rabbit, you ask? Let me tell you...

Vince and Gabe were out pulling weeds from beside the new house and all of the sudden Gabe found a nest with baby mice. One at a time, we (I use the term "we" loosely since I was in no way included) started collecting these little baby mice. At first glance I thought they were cute but then by the time they had a fourth one I could see what was coming.

Yep, you guessed it, ONE FOR EACH CHILD! Oh dear, I just knew they were going to be asking me to keep them and I could not stand the thought of raising baby mice. For one thing, WE HAVE A CAT! So, there they were pooling all of their money to go and get a cage and food and who knows what else you need to raise little baby mice. I was dying, panicking, trying to figure out any way to convince them we were NOT going to keep these little creatures and then all of the sudden it hit me!

When we moved in, the first thing they noticed was that the neighbor lady had a rabbit and he was just oh so cute! So what did I do? I ran outside and told them I would buy them a rabbit if they would get rid of the mice. Lucky for me that was all it took. Before I knew it, Allyson was convincing them that if they took them down to the canal some sweet mamma mouse would adopt them and they took the bait. While they went down to the canal to release them, we headed down the street to pick out a rabbit from the local rabbit breader.

We fell in love with Ellie right away and before we knew it we were getting a cage and everything you need to take care of a rabbit.

In the end...we were all happy and I don't have little mice in my house. Phew! That was a close one!

I Forgot To Introduce You!

2011-09-18T23:17:00.000-06:00

Just realized I haven't introduced you all to the newest member of our family!

Her name is Ellie. She is a fun little rabbit. She lets the kids hold her and they even put a little rabbit leash on her and take her for walks. She loves to snuggle up under your chin and is just calm as ever. We really do love her.

I know some of you might be wondering how Patches likes her after the last time we tried to get a new pet (Patches HATED the new kitty we got and we finally gave the kitty away because Patches was so sad). Well, Patches has decided she won't bother her at all. She will come up to the rabbit and sniff her and then just walk off. This makes us very happy because we love both of them.

Isn't she just adorable? The story of how we decided to get her will come later when I have more time...

"Healing Field"

2011-09-12T22:41:00.000-06:00

Today at work a friend told me about a place in Sandy that is called the "Healing Field" It sounded awesome. She said it was a field where they had almost 3,000 flags standing for each person who died that tragic day on 9/11/01. I thought it would be a great opportunity to teach my kids more about the day they were either too young to remember or not born yet so they had not had the opportunity to really understand. So for FHE we headed to Sandy to take a look. I didn't realize just how much it would touch me.

Our first stop was at the "Field of Honor" at a cemetery just across the street from where the "Healing Field" was.

These flags represent 40 Utah soldiers who have died in war since 9/11/01

If you click on the picture you can see it bigger and you will be able to read what this plaque says.

Our next stop was a field off to one side of the "Healing Field" that represented all of the fallen heros.

Next was the new statue that was unveiled on 9/11/11. You have all seen this picture of the men who hung the flag to represent how our country felt those days following the attack...that we would never give up and never let them take away our freedom.

Here is the "Healing Field". It was just amazing. It really puts into perspective just how many people lost their lives that morning in September 2001. As my friend Lisa said, "You can tell your kids that almost 3,000 people died that day, but they don't understand until you show them."

This picture isn't the clearest, but Vince lifted one of the kids up to take it so we could see just how far the flags went.

I truly hope my children will now understand what happened on that day that we were attacked in our own country. I also hope they understand the sacrifice so many of our men and woman are making so this kind of tragedy doesn't happen again.

I am sure with their uncle over there fighting this war that they do understand, but seeing first hand just how many lives were taken will help them to appreciate each day they have and the freedoms they enjoy.

Have I Failed?

2011-09-12T01:37:00.000-06:00

I have asked myself this question many times over the last week or so...Have I failed? Failed at what you might ask...failed at my half marathon.

Apparently, I started out great but then ended up training too hard. I can't run without having excruciating pain shoot through my foot and up my shins. I have been told the shin problem is me compensating for my foot being hurt, which I suppose could be true. All I know is that I feel like a failure.

Many around me tell me I haven't failed, I just got injured, but it sure doesn't feel that way. I tell myself I should just push through the pain and keep going, but where will that get me in the end? A gimp that walks like a grandma before I am even 40? Probably.

So, I have resolved that I cannot run my half marathon next month like I was planning, but I will not give up! I will give my foot the appropriate time to heal and then I will train slowly throughout the winter and come spring or early summer, I will do a half marathon. I have to! This is one of my life goals and something I want to check off my bucket list.

So come hell or high water I will do this! I have worked too hard and too long to just give up on this goal. It may take a lot longer than I thought, but I will run a half marathon and I will finish it!

Another Update

2011-09-05T11:22:00.000-06:00

So, here we are again, almost another month has gone by and I have so much to blog about but haven't found the time. So much happened in August that I don't even know where to begin. I guess I will start with Jenecee's birthday. This year because we were moving into the new house, I decided to get her some stuff for her bedroom.

Jenecee begged for a lava lamp...she was so excited she got one.

Her chair and mirror. She also got a picture frame and two picture holders.

Next was the big move. As most of you know, moving is not something new to us. I would say we have become experts on the matter...or so I thought. I have found there are three things that made this move hard:

I have never worked full time while moving
My kids were younger so I just packed (and dejunked) their stuff for them.
We have never lived anywhere for 6 years (I used to dejunk every 6-12 months)

All in all, we like the new place. We are just renting because we still have to sell our other house, but we really like the area and the ward.

The kids all have their own rooms (THANK GOODNESS) and they love that. I can let the kids go play outside without constantly having them in my eyesight. We live right by a park and they have met many new friends there (this is also something new since there weren't any kids near us at the other house).

We also celebrated Maria's birthday. Because she also wanted room stuff and liked everything Jen got, we got her pretty much the same stuff.

I had told her I couldn't find another lava lamp so she was super excited when she saw she really did get one.

She was also excited about her chair and mirror. She also got the frame and picture holders like Jen.

August also brings school. This year we had some big milestones. Allyson started High School and Jenecee started Jr. High. I realize that if we were somewhere like good ol' Woodruff they would have hit this milestone last year, but that doesn't make it any easier. Maria also started 6th grade this year and Gabe started 4th grade. I cannot believe how big the kids are getting. Here is a picture of the younger kids' first day of school (Ally started the day before).

Maria is 11!

2011-08-21T10:07:00.011-06:00

Another year down for this one too! I just can't believe my kids are growing up so fast. Maria is now 11. She is going to be starting 6th grade here in a few weeks and she is stoked. She is a great kid and she makes me laugh everytime I hear her giggle. You can just look at her and she can't help but let a smile out. I am so glad she is a part of our family and I can't imagine not having her here with us. We love you Maria!

Jen is 12!

2011-08-14T02:08:00.001-06:00

I have been so crazy busy that I almost forgot to post about Jenecee's birthday! At the beginning of this month, Jenecee turned the big 12! Can you believe it? We celebrated her birthday early this year because she got to spend her birthday up at girls camp. She was so excited!! She has been waiting to be able to go to girls camp for forever and it did not disappoint. She loved every minute of it. She is growing up so fast I just cannot believe it. She makes me laugh every day and is just so cute and silly. I don't know what I would do without this girl in my life. She will be in Jr. High this year and she is super excited. I hope she continues to have a great year. We love you Jen!

Summer Catch-up

2011-07-26T23:39:00.000-06:00

So, I cannot believe it is almost August! Where has the summer gone? I think this has been our most busy summer yet. Here are some of the highlights of our summer so far:

Lagoon

Lagoon-a-Beach

Volleyball Camp

Capture the Flag

Baking cakes

Fishing

Trek

Vacation (that will be another post)

Scout camp

Hiking

7 peaks Waterpark

Stayed at a hotel downtown and did more swimming

More volleyball

More Lagoon (okay, alot of Lagoon)

and a BBQ.

Yet to come is Girls Camp, Volleyball Tryouts, and I am sure MORE Lagoon! Before we know it, school will be starting back up and we will look back and wish it was summer again.

Run For Your Life!

2011-07-13T12:33:00.001-06:00

So, as you all know (if you have read my blog), I started a new adventure in my life a few weeks ago. I decided to run a half marathon and I am in week 6 of my training. When I started this adventure, I had in mind it was to fulfill a lifetime goal of running a half and full marathon. What I have found is something completely different.

What I have found is that I am running for my life! I was quickly going down a road of self-destruction and a road of becoming someone I didn't like. Now, I don't tell you this to make you feel sorry for me...I am just stating the facts.

I have been on a roller coaster ride of stopping to drink coke and losing weight to getting back on coke and gaining it all back, plus some. Every time I started back up, I would tell myself that I needed the coke to get me through my day; that when this week was over, I wouldn't be as stressed and then I could quit. But the week, when it was over, just started into another week that I would say I needed coke for. I didn't feel good and I couldn't (I convinced myself) get through the day without at least one.

What I have found since I have been running is that I don't NEED the coke. I have not had one drop in these 6 weeks nor have I felt I NEEDED one at all. Oh, I won't lie...there have been days it sounded really good, but I didn't give in. There were days when I thought I was going to lose it (something that normally drives me to drink coke) but got through the day without it. It feels LIBERATING!

What else have I found out? I have found out that for a long time, I have not felt well. I had various aches and pains, one of which I sometimes joked about that I felt like I was having a heart attack. I am not sure it was my heart at all, but it scared me. I haven't felt that for weeks! In fact, besides being tired and sore (and the tired isn't as much anymore) I have felt great! I feel like a new person.

Why, you ask, am I sharing this? I want to have something, when I am close to quitting to look back at and remember why I want to do this. I want to feel good; I want to live a long, healthy life; I want to be able to be there for my kids and grandkids for many years to come; I want to be healthy enough to keep up with them; I want to feel good about myself and like myself and know I am doing this for my life.

I truly believe if I had not started this new adventure, I would continue to spiral downhill not only in health, but also in the way I viewed myself.

I feel good about myself! I like myself! When I want to quit, but I press on through the pain and doubt, I know I can conquer anything!

If any of you feel the same way I did, make a goal and stick to it! Running is a good goal because it has a natural happy effect. If you decide this is something for you, see my previous post of where you can get information to start. Run for your life!

I AM RUNNING FOR MY LIFE!

(Sorry about the rant, but these are thoughts I have had lately and I wanted record them.)

Trek 2011

2011-06-27T09:30:00.000-06:00

So, I dropped allyson off this morning for Trek. I can't say that she was overly excited, but I am confident she will enjoy it. I know this will be very good for her and I hope that she will be able to feel the spirit of our ancestors while she is there. I am so proud of her taking her time to do this.

Crazy Woman!

2011-06-16T10:17:00.000-06:00

Every decided to do something and the minute you did, you asked yourself, "What was I thinking?" Well, I had one of those moments two weeks ago when I announced at home and work that I was running a 1/2 marathon.

How did I come to the conclusion I needed to run a 1/2 marathon?

I have no explaination except that I woke up one morning realizing I will be 34 soon and relaized I am not getting any younger.

So, now I am signed up for a 1/2 in October and I am training for it. It is harder than I thought. When I first started back up running, I could barely run 1/4 mile straight. I hurt and I HATED it more than ever before. Now I have found a great website that is great. It is http://www.jeffgalloway.com/ and it is an amazing site where I found a training schedule and tips on how to run without getting injured.

I am now 2 weeks in and I am starting to feel better about it. Vince has promised me I will like to run by the time the race comes, and another person said I may not like it, but I will hate it less. I will take either.

Busy, Busy, Busy

2011-06-12T13:07:00.000-06:00

So, it never ceases to amaze me how I convince myself I will have more time during the summer to catch up on everything I have been putting off. It really isn't true. Between the kids and I we have: Work, Volleyball Camp, Trek, Girls Camp, Scout Camp,Vacation, Lagoon, Bowling, Camping, Training for a Half Marathon, Hiking, Fishing....I could go on and on. It will be a fun summer, but oh my goodness it is going to be crazy!

The Big 15!!!

2011-05-18T21:02:00.001-06:00

Well, Ally is another year older...she turned 15 today! She gets her learners permit tomorrow (which means watch out for our car on the roads...haha), can you believe it! She is way excited. She only has one more week of 9th grade and then off into the unknown of high school (high school starts at 10th here). She is sad and excited all in one. she is excited to move on but not excited to leave a lot of her friends. I, on the other hand, am just sad. I have really loved being able to see her throughout the day when she comes up to my desk to give me a hug or just to talk. I am not ready for her to grow up, but I guess I have no choice. However, it will be fun to go through the next stage of her life with her.

I love you Ally, you are such a great kid!!!

Day 30

2011-05-18T06:18:00.001-06:00

A picture of someone you miss

I very much miss my Grandpa and Grandma Smith. I was pretty young when Grandpa died, but I remember some great times with him. I was able to spend quite a few more years with my Grandma and she has been gone only a handful of years. I miss and love you both so much!

Day 29

2011-05-17T08:09:00.001-06:00

A picture that can always make you smile

So, Kassy and Allyson are going to kill me, but this picture makes me laugh every time I see it! They are such goofs and I love them. Thanks girls for being so much fun!

Day 28

2011-05-16T10:02:00.001-06:00

A picture of something you're afraid of

I am afraid of having to bury one of my children. I hope that I never have to experience this in my life. I am not one of those strong people who can say "it was their time to go". I look up to those people, but I am not sure I would survive it.

Birthday Weekend

2011-05-15T09:21:00.000-06:00

Well, it has been a great weekend! Vince came home for a few days after being gone for a week. It was his birthday on Friday (the day he came home) and so we threw a small party for him. It was to celebrate his birthday and his graduation. That is right! He graduated with his bachelor's degree. This has been an ongoing endeavor for like 10 years. He has started quite a few times, but due to cicumstances out of his control, he has had to put it off. He has pushed hard this last few years to finish, working full time at work (travelling as usual) and full time with school. We are so proud of his accomplishment! Love you Babe!

We also went to Tooele to celebrate little Lucy's birthday which was also fun! She is a year old and just oh so adorable. We had so much fun seeing everyone.

Day 27

2011-05-15T08:54:00.000-06:00

A picture of yourself and a family member

I wish I had a picture with both my mom and my dad with me. I love my mom and dad and have grown closer to them the older I get. I don't get to see them as often anymore and I miss them. I love you mom and dad! Thank you for being there for me whenever I needed you.

Day 26

2011-05-14T04:47:00.013-06:00

A picture of ~~something~~ someone that means a lot to you

This was supposed to be "something" that means a lot to you, but I wanted to change it to "someone". This is my Great Aunt Eva. She is the most awesome person I know. She is (I think) in her 80's and has still swam every day up until this last year or so. I met her the summer I turned 12 and she quickly became someone I looked up to. I have been close to her ever since that summer and even named Jenecee (Eva is her middle name) after this wonderful lady. I love you Aunt Eva. I wish I lived closer to you so I could see you more often.

Day 25

2011-05-13T11:43:00.001-06:00

A picture of your favorite day

This is the day when Vince and I were sealed as a family for time and all eternity. This was a year and a half after we got married. As you can see, Allyson was there with us when we were sealed.

Day 24

2011-05-11T08:58:00.000-06:00

A picture of something you wish you could change

I wish we lived in a world where we didn't see this. I know it is something we can no longer avoid if we wish to live in a free world where we can have freedom. I just wish there weren't so many who had to give their lives on my behalf. Thank you to each soldier and their families for defending our freedom.

Day 23

2011-05-11T08:37:00.000-06:00

A picture of your favorite book

I have read this series many times, but this is my favorite in the series.

Day 22

2011-05-10T05:34:00.000-06:00

A picture of something you wish you were better at

I wish I were better at running and exercising all together. I just have to keep at it and I will become a better runner.

Day 21

2011-05-09T07:28:00.001-06:00

A picture of something you wish you could forget

I wish I could forget junk food and coke. I think someone should invent an immunization that does nothing more than make junk food and pop taste horrible. That would be awesome!

Day 20

2011-05-08T06:25:00.000-06:00

A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

I have dreamed all my life of going to Australia. One day I will have enough time and money to be able to go there for a month and stay. This is my dream place.

Day 19

2011-05-07T08:23:00.001-06:00

I was two or three here.

I texted my mom to see if she had any pictures of me when I was younger and this is the one she emailed me. When I saw it I was so excited because this is my favorite picture of when I was younger!

Day 18

2011-05-06T11:08:00.001-06:00

A picture of your biggest insecurity

My biggest insecurity is having to talk to people. I didn't used to be like this, I used to be a very social person. However, the older I get the more of an introvert I have become.

Day 17

2011-05-05T07:49:00.000-06:00

A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

The lack of the toilet that should be in this spot has impacted all of our lives. We have a morning ritual of doing the "Pee Dance" while we all wait for the one we have...although to be the first there is a good incentive to get out of bed quickly in the mornings. The other bathroom should be done soon but we have contemplated digging a hole in the backyard in the meantime.

Day 16

2011-05-04T06:38:00.000-06:00

A picture of someone who inspires you

Mr. C is a loving person who always looks for the best in people and who tries to see the good in every situation. He definately inspires me and makes me want to be a better person. Thank you Mr. C for being such a great example to me and everyone you come in contact with.

Day 15

2011-05-03T08:29:00.001-06:00

A picture of something you want to do before you die

I want to own a cabin by a lake before I die.

Worthless Teenagers and the Parents who Make Them

2011-05-02T22:58:00.002-06:00

The following is a post that I read today from "Single Dad Laughing". It is amazing, it is scary, it is true and it truly makes me take a look into how I talk to my kids and what messages they are getting from me. Do they feel they are loved? Do they feel like I respect them as a person? Do they feel I am trying to help them make good decisions as opposed to making their decisions for them? Do they feel like I am trying to think for them? Do they feel I think they are stupid? Do they feel like I don't care? When I am joking, can they tell? Or are they thinking I truly mean it? Is what I am saying to them making them feel good about themselves? Is what I am saying to them truly making them stronger, or is that just an excuse for me to say what I want?

These are all things I asked myself while reading this post. Take a minute (or five) to read the following post. Even if you don't do these things or you joke about them, maybe it will help you to become a better parent...I know it will help me to become a better one. No one is a perfect parent and we could all use a little help to raise our children in this crazy world. This is awesome!

Worthless Teenagers and the Parents who Make Them

The following is an email I recently received.

“dear dan, i am 16 and i was wondering if you could help me know what to do, cause i am at the point that i hate myself and anybody else and i feel like theres no hope and i thought that you might be able to give me some advise since you are good at stuff like that. my mom is always screeming at me and her and my dad don’t love me and i don’t know why cause i try to do everything i can and i'm not a bad kid but they always tell me i am in fact my mom today sayd that i am one of gods biggest mistakes cause i slept threw my alarm and missed my bus. my dad doesnt ever hit me but he is always calling me an idiot or a retard or stuff like that. anyway at school i don’t really have very many friends cause i'm to shy i guess. i don’t know what to do cause i am just wanting to give up even trying anymore cause why should i? have you ever felt like nobody cares if you just disappear cause i really feel that way even with my parents.”

It kept going, but you get the gist.

I got that email a week ago. I cried. It was definitely a “last straw” moment for me.

It’s days like that when I hate opening my inbox. Those days when monstrosities lurk within that completely anger or sadden me. I’ve received at least thirty or forty emails like it in the past seven months. All from teenagers. All from broken, hurting, sad teenagers. My heart has weakened a little more with each and every one of them. In truth, I always feel so lost when I get them. I mean, what can I do other than offer encouraging words in response while I sit on the sidelines being a useless cheerleader for the wounded and bleeding?

[sigh] Today’s post is a long time coming, far overdue, and is probably among the most difficult that I’ve written for a lot of different reasons, most of which are personal to me, some of which will become easily apparent as you continue reading.

Forgive the anger in my voice today. I feel that some strong things need to be said, and I admittedly wrote this post while I was lost in heavy ire over a slew of different things that were going on. I pray that I can speak at least a few words that will make these parents who continue breaking their teenagers stop and think for a damned minute. Because, we have a problem.

Teenagers are idiots.

Teenagers are careless.

Teenagers are stupid.

Teenagers are reckless.

Teenagers are less than beautiful.

Teenagers don’t care enough about the things that matter.

Teenagers care too much about the things that don’t matter.

Teenagers are thoughtless.

Teenagers are inconsiderate.

Teenagers are rude.

Teenagers don’t work hard enough.

Teenagers don’t have their priorities straight.

Teenagers spend too much time thinking about love.

Teenagers don’t spend enough time thinking about school.

Teenagers love to sass and talk back to their parents.

Teenagers love to argue.

Teenagers don’t take care of themselves.

Teenagers are quitters.

Teenagers are lazy.

Teenagers don’t spend enough time with their families.

Teenagers spend far too much time with the wrong people.

Teenagers are walking hormones.

Teenagers are always one mistake away from destroying their lives.

Teenagers are always one bad decision away from premature parenthood.

Teenagers are always one bad decision away from lives ruined with drugs or alcohol.

Teenagers don’t really care about religion.

Teenagers don’t really care about spirituality at all.

Teenagers don’t care what their parents think.

Teenagers don’t want to talk to their parents.

Teenagers are shut off. They are distant. They are uncaring.

Teenagers are, simply put, worthless.

Parents, why the hell do you make life so impossible for your teenagers? Why do you work to make them feel so damned worthless? Why do you set them up for constant failure? Why do you continually labor to strip away every good chance your teenagers have to be everything you demand so regularly that they be?

Do you not get that the world is waiting for them with open jaws, ready to chew them up and spit them out, and that it will not hesitate any time it has the opportunity to do so? Do you not get that around every corner lies hard and inescapable lessons for your teenager? Do you not get that the last place from which your teenagers need to be getting this kind of crap is from you? In your home?

Come on.

You were a teenager once.

Do you not remember how incredibly frustrating, yet distantly conquerable the world was to you then? Do you not remember how difficult finding that delicate balance between your parents, school, your friends, your teachers, and the entire rest of life was? Do you not remember how badly you longed for freedom to really be who you believed yourself to be? To really do what you believed you could do?

I was a teenager once too, and I hated myself, especially as a younger teen. I hated my parents. I hated my family. I hated my peers. I hated my teachers. I hated everybody.

Each day I went to bed feeling… worthless. I felt worthless because the channels of love that I knew deep down should be flowing through my human heart were obstructed. They were clogged. Nothing was flowing in or out. I felt worthless because nobody wanted me around. I felt worthless because nobody cared if I ceased to exist. I felt worthless because I was told that it’s what I should be, and I was told it again, and again, and again. By just about everybody.

Over the course of my teenage years, every rock hard, hurtful, and damaging sentiment I listed above, was one that I myself heard, directed at me, by somebody. Often by those who supposedly “loved me.”

And I’m not alone. I’ve received dozens of emails from teenagers about this, but I’ve received hundreds from adults who still carry the hurt, resentment, and anger from what happened to them during their teenage years. The story is almost always the same. My mom. My dad. My siblings. My grandparents. My peers. My leaders. My teachers. They treated me like crap. They hurt me. They were ruthless. They said things that still haunt me. They said things that I still believe. They said things that are still a part of me. They said things that broke me.

And I have to wonder, why? Why do human freaking beings treat each other in such a way? Why do parents treat their children that way? Why does anybody break anybody?

In the end, I realize that it’s all about one thing.

Power.

Who has the power?

A father who constantly unleashes on his child, impugns his child, or hurts his child wants only one thing.

A mother who constantly berates her child, nags her child, punishes her child, or hurts her child wants only one thing.

And, any teenager who talks back, fights back, or pushes back wants only one thing.

They all want the power. Some power. Any power. All power.

Everybody wants to have the power over everybody else and every situation, and far too many people spend their lives trying to maintain the only thing that actually let’s them feel that power.

Control.

The father who thrives on power, works to control everything (whether he can or not) in his child’s life. He works to make sure that his child will always do and be what he thinks is best. He works to make sure that his child rises to some predetermined and idealistic life-station, and simultaneously he also works to make sure that his child never finds the ability to rise above that station. He works to guarantee that his child will be successful in whatever way he believes success is achieved. He works to force respect. He works to force love. He works to force some sense of a relationship.

The mother who thrives on power, works just as dutifully to control everything (whether she can or not) in her child’s life. She works to make sure her child always believes exactly what she believes. She works to make sure her child always learns the lessons that she believes need to be learned. She works to mold her child into the person she believes her child should be molded into. And, just like the power-craving father, she also works to force respect, love, and the non-existent relationship but forced relationship.

But let’s be honest. None of it can be forced. Ever. Maybe it can be faked for a while, but it’s impossible to force.

For the parents who constantly find themselves throwing their arms up in frustration after ugly and recurrent power struggles with their teenagers… I’m going to let you in on a little secret. If you can absorb it, understand it, and believe it, I can promise you this. Your life as the parent of a teenager will improve. You ready for the secret?

You can’t make your teenager believe what you believe, any more than you can make a child fall asleep at naptime.

You can’t make your teenager live the life you want her to live.

You can’t make your teenager respect you.

You can’t make your teenager love you.

And you can’t make your teenager be a part of a relationship, have feelings, or have respect that doesn’t actually exist.

Do you not see? What you can do, and what you almost always will do when you try, is build resentment and bitterness in your teenager. You build apathy. You build wrongly-guided determination. You build a need for independence. You build a need for life experience that doesn’t involve you.

And when your teenagers develop these needs… they will almost always find a way to fulfill those requirements, and you’re probably not going to like the way they go about doing it.

The great irony, of course, is that when teenagers do desperately seek a way to satisfy those needs, parents tend to wrap their children’s actions under one blanketed and nonsensically misleading term. Rebellion. My kid is rebellious. My kid is a typical teenager. My kid has an attitude. My kid doesn’t listen. My kid does the exact opposite of what I tell him to do. It’s always our kid’s fault, and never our own.

Why do parents not get that the sooner they stop trying to control their teenagers with their hurtful words, insults, demands, punishments, schedules, requirements, and actions, the sooner their kids will start stepping up to the plate on their own? Why do parents not get that the sooner they stop trying to force their beliefs onto their children, the sooner their children will actually question those beliefs enough to make them their own? And why do parents not get that the sooner they work toward love instead of for power, the sooner they’ll get love and the less they’ll have any need for power? Why don’t they get that?

The 16-year old girl who sent me the email above has a mother and a father who pursue after the power so relentlessly, and are trying to control having that power and control so consistently, that they are pushing their teenager into dark places that no real parent wants their child to be. And they probably don’t even know they’re doing it. If I had to guess, they’re probably going to their neighborhood barbecues and their soccer games and their Bunco parties, telling their buddies and their girlfriends just how rotten a person their daughter is. They’re probably painting some grim picture of how hard life is for them, parenting such a lost and troubled individual. And here’s the kicker. They’re probably convinced that it’s all true, too.

“i was wondering if you could help me know what to do, cause i am at the point that i hate myself and anybody else and i feel like theres no hope and i thought that you might be able to give me some advise”

Mom and Dad, your need for power has sent your daughter on a search for help across the internet, and into the inbox of a 30-year old man you don’t know from Adam. Is that really what you want?

“my mom is always screeming at me and her and my dad don’t love me and i don’t know why cause i try to do everything i can”

Was the pursuit of power worth it? Your child feels completely unloved by you. Was that your intention? Are you at all aware of this? I’m guessing not. You probably think she deserves everything you always hand out to her. Are you at all aware that your child, deep down, believes she is really trying? I’m guessing not. You probably think she’s a waste of space. Oh wait… you actually do…

“i'm not a bad kid but they always tell me i am in fact my mom today sayd that i am one of gods biggest mistakes cause i slept threw my alarm and missed my bus.”

Your need for power gave you one thing here, Mom. A child who now feels like sleeping through an alarm is one of life’s worst problems. A child, who in all likelihood grasps the infiniteness of God and the universe a lot more than you think she does, and has now taken your words to heart. In fact, she’s internalized them enough that she officially hates herself. But even though you’re dead wrong, maybe you’re right. Maybe your child is one of God’s greatest mistakes. Your desperation to keep your child from missing another bus (aka control) made you say things that made your child believe that. Bravo.

“my dad doesnt ever hit me but he is always calling me an idiot or a retard or stuff like that”

Kudos dad. You’ve trained your daughter well. She officially thinks that being called an idiot or a retard is less hurtful than being physically battered. Next time, maybe you should shut your mouth and just hit your kid. The pain will disappear in minutes instead of decades, and child services will have something more concrete to work with, just be sure to leave a bruise or two. Sticks and stones, old man.

“anyway at school i don’t really have very many friends cause i'm to shy i guess.”

Once again, mad props to both parents. You’ve trained your daughter to believe that she’s shy. But she’s not. Put your iced teas and your noses down, and read the rest of the damn email. She knows that she’s not shy. She also knows that you two have taken away all of her self-confidence. All of her value. All of her spirit. She knows that her problems at school have trickled all the way down from home. And she’s desperate to change the direction of that ugly flow.

“i don’t know what to do cause i am just wanting to give up even trying anymore cause why should i?”

I can’t say I blame you. I can tell you why you shouldn’t give up though. You’re amazing. You’re beautiful. You’re incredible. And there will come a day when you will have the chance to learn that about yourself.

"Have you ever felt like nobody cares if you just disappear cause i really feel that way even with my parents.”

Mom and Dad.

Damn it.

You have failed.

So fix it.

Just fix it. I don’t care what it takes. Unbreak your child.

It is not your teenager’s job to learn how to be a better teenager. It is your job to learn how to be a better parent to your teenager. If you can do that, your teenager’s behavior will improve. Your relationship will improve. You’ll start to see truly amazing and jaw-dropping things happen. But it has to start with you. It’s the ultimate and indisputable rule of parenting.

Stop and think for a damned second.

Do you not realize who your teenager is?

Your daughter is smart. Your daughter is beautiful. Your daughter is incredible. Your daughter is bound for great things!

Your son is gifted. Your son is intelligent. Your son is capable of anything. Your son will accomplish the impossible!

Why can’t parents see that they must begin labeling their teenagers with the empowering and beautiful words that will push these kids toward greater things? Why can’t they see that they must declare their confidence and faith in their nearly grown children? Why can’t they see that they must trust those children, even when that trust seems impossible or ill-founded? Why can’t they see that they must stop believing society’s many horrid and false stereotypes of teenagers? Why can’t they see that they must turn the tables on everything so many of us joke and believe teenagers to be?

Why can’t parents see that they must start expecting everything from their teenagers, but demanding nothing?

Maybe they don’t realize who their teenagers are. Maybe they don’t see just how fragile and human their children still are. Maybe they don’t get that there is far more to them than what meets the eye.

I was different than what anybody thought I was. I was more than what anybody believed me to be. I was destined for greater things than anybody ever gave me credit for.

For example, I had a heart that nobody seemed to know about. Somehow, in the midst of the constant hate I was feeling, and in the midst of the deep depression that often overtook me, I was desperate to love. Oh, I was desperate to be loved too, but I was far more desperate to love others. I was far more desperate to move past the consuming anger and hatred that I seemed to permanently feel, and actually love another person the way nobody, I felt at the time, had really loved me.

I was also ambitious. I was also smart. I was also gifted.

I was artistic. I was strong. I was capable. I was faithful. I was beautiful.

I just wanted some power. I needed some power. I needed to control parts of my own life, and nobody would let me. The world worked to make it as impossible as they could for me. And so, feeling completely powerless, I shut myself off, I pushed others away, and I secretly shifted between thoughts of my own extinction and thoughts of the freedom I would one day have if I could just make it to 18. You see, those were the only two ways that I felt I would ever have any power at all. Grow up or give up.

And the truth is, your daughter wants and needs some power, too. Your son wants and needs some power, too. You also want power. But, I ask, what’s the cold and very real difference between your wants and your teenager’s wants? Your teenager wants power over his or her own life. You want power over the life of your teenager. You want power over the life of somebody who is only years or months from jumping into their adult life without you as their controller and superior. Doesn’t that scare you a little bit? Doesn’t it scare you to know that you’re trying to control everything until your child leaves home? Doesn’t it scare you to think about what will happen when that control disappears, basically overnight? Don’t you see the value in controlling your teenager less while you still have a chance and you still have an ultimate say in how things go down?

If you take anything from this post today, I want you to take this. It is okay that your teenager wins sometimes. It is okay that your teenager is right sometimes. It is okay that your teenager thinks for herself. It is okay that they your teenager makes mistakes. It is okay that your teenager botches it up once in awhile. It is okay that your teenager is human.

Everybody needs to win once in a while. Everybody. If you never let your teenagers win, beating you will become the most important thing to them. And they will win; if not now, they’ll win eventually. It’s their life, and one day you’re not going to have a say. It’s time you see that. It’s time you believe that.

And it’s time you start letting them go.

It’s time you stop fearing what bad effects losing control and power of your teenager will have. It’s time you stop believing that giving them any power and control is the guaranteed beginning of their failure as adults. It’s time you stop insisting that their lives need to swing the way you want them to. More than anything, it’s time you stop making your teenagers feel worthless in your attempts to do everything else.

If you can’t, and if they do enter the grown-up world feeling worthless, every decision they ever make will revolve around that worthlessness. What they do in school, their careers, in relationships, and with you. It will all be affected. It will all hinge on unhealthy perspective. Everything. Every decision. Every minute of every freaking day.

Last I checked, people who feel worthless don’t make a lot of great choices.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

I’d be very appreciative if you’d take a second and share today’s post. You never know who will benefit or what kind of discussion and debate you will stir up. You just never know.

I’d also love to hear your thoughts, no matter what those thoughts might be.

NOTE: This post is the fourth and final in a series of posts that I have shared over the last seven months. If you haven't yet, please read the other three.

1. You just broke your child. Congratulations.

2. Worthless Women and the Men who Make Them

3. Worthless Men and the Women who Make Them

A Nice Family Night

2011-05-02T22:17:00.000-06:00

So, after dinner tonight we decided we would go for a walk with the kids. We took them down to Jordan River Parkway and walked (well, they rode scooters and a rip stick). It was such a beautiful night out and it was refreshing to be outside without freezing. What an awesome relaxing night we had. Thanks fam for hanging with me.

Here are some pictures of our walk...

I would kill myself on this thing!

Silly, silly Maria

Silly Jen right behind!

One of the few times he was going slow enough for me to snap a picture.

Look! I even scootered some!

We stopped at a park along the way.

It was such a beautiful, perfect night!

Day 14

2011-05-02T07:20:00.000-06:00

A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

I can't even imagine my life without Vince. He is my best friend.

Pinewood Derby 2011

2011-05-01T12:51:00.001-06:00

So, Gabe's favorite part of scouts is when they get to do the fun activities like Raingutter Rigatta and Pinewood Derby. And this years Pinewood Derby was no exception when it came to fun. He and Vince worked hard on his car and it paid off. This year he took 1st place and he was so proud! I was proud because he didn't run around gloating about it, he actually went around telling everyone how good they did and how he liked their cars. It made a momma proud! Here he is with his dad...

These are the awards he won...

Day 13

2011-05-01T05:10:00.000-06:00

A picture of your favorite band or artist

I was able to go to their concert this last year and it was the best concert I have been to. They didn't have a bunch of wild things, just them up their with their instruments singing. It was awesome!

NPA 5k 2011

2011-04-30T12:54:00.001-06:00

Today was our annual NPA 5k/1 mile that we do for a fundraiser. It was so much fun and this year we introduced the "Pancake Eating" Contest. It was so much fun.

This is what we woke up to this morning and I about died. But by the time we got there the sun was out and it warmed up.

This year I ran the 5k with Maria and Caleb and it was a ton of fun. Those two make me laugh. I would tell them that when we get to a checkpoint they could throw snowballs at me. They thought that was funny. Jenecee also ran the 5k with her friends. Allyson and Gabe decided to run the 1 mile this year.

Day 12

2011-04-30T09:09:00.000-06:00

A picture of something you love

My family is the one thing that I would just die if you took it away from me. They are everything to me. . .I am me because of them. I love you guys so much!

Day 11

2011-04-29T09:06:00.000-06:00

A picture of something you hate

Anybody Hungry For Spaghetti??

2011-04-29T02:01:00.002-06:00

This spaghetti is an extra sweet deal! I made this cake for a friend for her husbands birthday. He is Italian and so she wanted one of his favorites made into a cake. It was fun!

You can go here to see more of my cakes.

Day 10

2011-04-28T09:01:00.003-06:00

A picture of the person you do the most stupid things with

Allyson is a goof and is so much fun to be around. Her and I have some good times and laugh a lot. Thanks Ally for all of the good times.

Day 9

2011-04-27T06:57:00.000-06:00

A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

Thank you for being there for me!

Day 8

2011-04-26T08:46:00.001-06:00

A picture that makes you laugh

Easter 2011

2011-04-25T17:07:00.001-06:00

The only thing we did that was "Easter" this year was to dye eggs. Here are some pictures...

One of the ladies that work across the street from our house was in the suit and begged the kids to come over this year. (She was tickling the girls and that is why they have funny smiles). Gabe was at a birthday party so he wasn't there...

Day 7

2011-04-25T08:42:00.001-06:00

A picture of your most treasured item

I know...I cheated on this one because they obviously are not an "item". However, if you look closely I put a frame around them. A picture of my kids would be my most treasured item.

Day 6

2011-04-24T08:23:00.000-06:00

A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day

I know some of you are probably thinking, "What?" but it is true. I wish I could trade places with this lady for just one day. I think it would give me so much more perspective. I believe I would walk away feeling grateful and it would also leave me with a desire to be a better person. I believe if I could spend just one day on the street I would be a different person who was more patient and more loving of those around me.

Day 5

2011-04-23T18:21:00.007-06:00

A picture of your favorite memory

This is a 4-generation picture with myself, my mom, my Grandma Huntington, and my Great Grandma O'Brien. These are wonderful ladies and I love them very much. I believe this was the last time I saw my Grandma O'Brien.

Day 4

2011-04-22T06:50:00.002-06:00

A Picture Of My Favorite Night

Each year we try to get to temple square during Christmas time. This year was especially fun because Kassy went with us...It was a blast!

Day 3

2011-04-21T07:23:00.001-06:00

A picture of the cast from your favorite show

I like a lot of tv shows but the one I am absolutely addicted to is Criminal Minds. I just can't get enough of it.... My favorite characters are "Morgan", of course (such a hottie) and Penelope for her free spirit (don't we all wish we could pull it off?)

Lookie! Lookie!

2011-04-20T22:01:00.000-06:00

SOOOO...our dishwasher went out last week and I decided it would be good for the kids to have a little time washing dishes. But after a few days of dishes piling up and when they were washed they needed to be re-washed I decided it was time to start looking for a new one. WELL...Vince went and picked it up tonight and installed it! I am so excited.

To make it even better, it is a quiet one. No big deal UNLESS you have been at my house while the old dishwasher was running and you know that when our old dishwasher that was as old as the house ran you had to practically yell to hear each other...THEN you understand my excitement about the quietness of the new one. Anywho, just thought I would share my excitement!

School-wide Culminating Event

2011-04-20T21:42:00.002-06:00

Here are some pictures of the kids at our school-wide culminating event. This is a night where the classes display/perform projects/songs they have been working on.

Gabe's class has been studying habitats. He had the rainforest.
They did a report with graphs and then had to do a display.

Maria's class has been studying Indian/Pioneer life.
This was a display she made to show the life of a cattleman and his cattle.

Jenecee's class was reading "The Hatchet". She and her friend
made a model of the plane that crashed in the book.

Allyson's class was reading "Hamlet" and they were given the assignment to
write a poem about the play.
Here she is with two of her good friends Holly and Brooklyn.

Maria and Jenecee's classes also performed some songs they have been working on in music and they both did a great job! I am so proud of the kids!!